An American friend asked me "Are there no decent men in Argentina?" Of course there are. I just have not found the right one for me. My students (a younger generation) are wonderful. Although when I listen to them at times, I want to wap them on the head. Most of it is youth, but still, there is a part of them, that is their culture. The roles are well defined here.
Think about it. When my generation was protesting the Vietnam war, taking LSD, and smoking marijuana, my compatriots here in Argentina were trying to stay alive. The 70s were the dictatorship. People here were not doing drugs and they were not actively protesting. It seems that the changes the USA made in the late 60s and 70s are now happening here.
I make plans to meet S. He is a photographer. He looks glamourous in his pictures. There is an insecure part of me that wonders if he will find me attractive. It is crazy for me to think this way. But I do. I think all women do. Here in Argentina, I don't think any man ever thinks a woman will reject him, and when they do, they are shocked. Men who are close to my age here are usually in mid-life crisis dating trophy women. Not all, but many. It is sort of weird to see super intelligent capable men with women who can barely utter their names. (My name? Uh, let me think about that, oh my name...duh)
We make plans to meet a couple of blocks from my apartment. There are lots of coffee places, and we can select one, once I get there. As I approach the corner of Borges and Paraguay I see this diminutive petite man standing on the corner. I cannot believe it! Suddenly I hear my friend Gigi's voice, "Hedda,look, another pipsqueak." I find myself laughing. Outloud. I can't stop. "Hedda what will you do?" I cannot believe that Gigi is channeling through me..NOW. People must think I am crazy.
I run up to this guy biting my lip so I don't laugh. He probably thinks I am thrilled to see him. Even without platforms I tower over this guy. If I was on top, I would crush him, and I am not fat. What is wrong with these guys? You can lie about your age, your education, even your marital status, but your height and weight? I mean if you write that you are 1.75 meters (about 5'8) and your are really 1.61 (about 5'3) don't you think that someone just might notice?
I decide to have coffee with him. He might turn out to be the man of my dreams. We walk to a coffee place. We sit down. He leaves his cell on the table. It is constantly going off. Very annoying. He tells me that he is the photographer for a very important person. OK. A photographer is not exactly like being a brain surgeon.
Why do I torture myself like this? I think. It must be to get fodder for blog posts. Nah. I think really, it is because I am an optimist. In the USA I had several great relationships with men I met through social media. Last Saturday I was talking to one of my friends while we were at dinner. She has never done online dating. I told her, it is something to do. You never know who you are going to meet. Besides, you won't meet anyone if you don't take a chance.
Mr. Hotshot Photographer to the important person, now tells me who the important person is. I stifle a yawn. He tells me about his time in the USA. Boring. Every few minutes he shows me his cell phone. He wants to impress me with what he is receiving. Jeesh, I can do a feed from TN, too.
Of course there are the proverbial questions about why I am in Argentina. Of course he who has never danced tango, knows more about it than I do. I think that he is an OK guy. Then out of the clear blue comes one of "those" questions. "So," he asks, "How is your love life?" This to me is the stupidest question anyone could ask. Would I be on a stupid $%#@ dating site if I had a boyfriend? Before I can answer he ask the next stupid question they all ask "Have you had any relationships since you moved here?"
I answer him, "Do I look like a nun? I mean really, I have been here 12 years." He persists, "And, how were they?" I am always amazed they actually want details of my relationships at a first meeting. "How was what?" I ask, playing dumb. Blond, remember. "Your relationships, how were they?" I roll my eyes. I tell him, maybe it is cultural, but I don't understand why we are talking about my relationships at a first meeting. For me, it is least important thing to talk about. Basically, he is trying to figure out when the last time I had sex. Some guys just come out and ask (Oh yes they do), this one uses the relationship tactic.
"When was your last relationship?" He asks. God this guy is annoying. "I don't remember." I tell him. He opens his eyes super wide covering his little pipsqueak face. Gigi, where are you when I need you? You should come charging through the door, grab my arm and go "Time to go home Hedda." (Gigi calls me the Hedda Hopper of Tango, in case you were wondering where Hedda comes from.)
"I guess that depends on what you consider a relationship. I go out." This guy does not need a dossier on my relationship life. By now the conversation is going downhill fast. He can no longer entertain me. I don't care about his cell phone news feed or who he works for. You are right, Gigi, time to go.