Today I woke up super crabby. I stared out the balcony towards the river. The sun is shining and the day is clear. If this were a normal day for me I would be heading to the gym and maybe to shopping. Since the end of April, no day is normal for me. I am house confined...like Martha Stewart, only without her millions and her electronic bracelet. Sometimes life is not fair.
If you have been following my blogs then you know I fractured my hip in a car accident the end of April. The doctor told me it would be a minimum of 30 days before I could walk. Rest, rest, rest. I went back to the doctor. He is thrilled with how fast I am healing...but no parole. So it is 30 days more of bed, sofa, and chair.
For me the big reprieve is when I get to go in my wheelchair to the supermarket. I feel like I am being let out onto the honor farm. Isabel my housekeeper and I go to Disco the local supermarket chain. Sometimes my friends come by and we go a couple of blocks and have a coffee.
I am never alone. That is life in Buenos Aires. There is always someone coming over to spend a couple of hours with me. My phone is usually ringing all day, and I get tons of email. Even my US friends call me. I want to be crabby but how can I be with so many people coming over to cheer me up.
It is no substitute for being able to get up and go outside, to walk the dog, and yes to go dance. I now have a complete idea of what it is like to be disabled. Now I know why you never see disabled people in this city. It is almost impossible for them to maneuver. Between the potholes and loose tiles on the sidewalks, buildings without ramps (including mine) and elevators that are almost impossible to fit a wheel chair in, you are better off staying in.
Since I am stuck in the house my imagination runs wild. God, no wonder bored housewives become alcoholics or drug addicts. Thank heaven for the Internet. I do not know what I would do without it. It is amazing the information you can find when you are bored.
With all this time on my hands I obsess. I freak about are gaining weight. I feel like I have gained a 1000 lbs. I know this isn´t true. All my clothes still fit. It is probably from lack of exercise. The only exercise I get is wheeling myself around the apartment or using my crutches. This is nothing compared to my regular schedule. I think couch potato would be putting it lightly.
The other night I had the worst nightmare. I dreamed that it was July and I could walk. I saw myself throwing away the crutches and being able to run. Then I went to dance at a milonga. When Roberto went to move with me, he made a face. (One of those where I know he is going to criticize something I am doing wrong looks.) I had lost all my balance, my axis, and the worst, I couldn't hear the music. A tango dancer's nightmare. Probably the scariest of my not being able to move or dance.
Lat night when I told Roberto, he looked at me. "Don´t worry," he tells me, "After one month, you will be better than you were before. Everyone will be waiting for you." When was that date my doctor said I could walk again.....