« 2 x 4 (dos por cuatro) | Main | Regresando El Tango »

July 04, 2006

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Paula

I'd like to make a quick remark. When you say that Salvadorean and Mexican men treated you way better than Argentineans do, you are forgetting something... Men from those countries will always treat American women as if they were bigger than life. They love to be seen with a gringa (and if the gringa happens to be blonde, much better). On the other hand, Argentinean men (who are in fact much less machistas than their fellow Latin Americans are) don't really give a shit about Americans in general. They are not gonna worship you... (try to look and act and talk as a Frenchwoman or Italian, for instance, and you'll notice the difference...)

Tina

Some of them are okay though - I've been dating an Argentine since the beginning of July, and he has been nothing but wonderful, polite, loving, intelligent, fun...We have deep intellectual conversations, the sex is fabulous and yes, we did it on the first date - and he's called me every day since then. Recently he took me out to Washington wine country and paid for everything. Of course, I'm moving to Italy soon - which could have something to do with it. The whole "unavailable" thing is attractive to a lot of people. Then again, he's also been living in the States 9 years and has dual citizenship. I've asked him about some of the same points you make above about Argentine men, and from what he tells me, you're not too far off - he says it gets ugly down there, and that no woman in her right mind should date a tango dancer down there.
I sure like your writing style!! Enjoy your 6 weeks off.

Sherry

I found your postings very informative and funny. I'm an American girl and my f--- buddy is an Argentinian male who happens to be 11 years younger. I live here in the states and he has lived here for four years. He is very good looking and and can go all night! I'm satisfied when I do see him, but I experience the same problems you are describing not calling, e-mailing days later after being invited over. I feel like trash, although I do feel better now knowing it's an Argentinian thing and not a "me" thing. If he wasn't so hot in bed I'd be tempted to tell him to go f--- himself! Any advice...should I just stop contacting him? He told me he would be upfront and let me know if he wanted to stop seeing me, which he hasn't done, so I'm assuming we are still "on", but I haven't gotten a response from him to come and see me since he got back from Argentina a few days ago. Due to logistics in the past it has been hard to see him frequently and we haven't physically been together for five weeks, although we did e-mail a couple of weeks ago. Am I tring too hard? I get the feeling from your postings they want to do the persuing, but hey I get horny too and we live in the U.S. not in Argentinia. What now, any advice????

Silvia

If we are confining the discussion to Argentine men who dance tango, one might say that many of them (the best dancers) use all of what they have, sensuously-speaking, on the dance floor. Afterwards, it's the 3 C's!

adam R

While I´m far from acquainted with all the trials and tribulations of a middle-aged woman´s sexual life (all of my knowledge is limited to trailers of ¨Under a Tuscan Sun¨ and ¨How Stella Got Her Groove Back¨), I feel at least qualified to comment from the male side of this issue.

First, consider the following brief anecdote, which I think thoroughly encapsulates the whole issue. A few nights ago I was meeting up with some Argentine friends and an American buddy of mine (where I´m from), and I was a bit surprised to discover the place where they directed me to was practically being shaken down to its foundation by screaming American-accented English. Upon closer inspection though, this was no error, at least in the eyes of our one local friend, who was going at it hot and heavy with one of the American girls within 10 minutes. Another 10 minutes later and they´re gone - ostensibly not to enjoy a hearty political discussion. And he has a girlfriend.

The point of this is, if the predatory urban species known as the Argentine male had the incentive to, as you lament, treat a woman as ¨anything more than a pleasure machine,¨ he probably wouldn´t be trying oh so hard to sleep with a foreign (American) girl. If such little work is required in the first place, in comparison to the notoriously difficult porteña ¨histericas,¨ why would a guy even bother to exert himself anymore than he has to? If he´s looking to hold and be held, I´m inclined to think, he´s not going to find that woman after 10 minutes in a bar. He probably even has his girlfriend for that. Thus, ¨chupe, coja, y chau¨ - as you so eloquently put it – is born. Just to be fair though, lets say the aforementioned species is dating an American woman and is unable consecrate the relationship in such quick time. When the moment does arrive though, chances are he still has all these crazy ideas in his mind about an American woman from the beginning; again, explaining ¨chupe, coja, y chau.¨

Though, don´t think this behavior is at all exclusive to Argentine men. I really think it´s a Mediterraean thing – I´ve lived in Spain and been to Italy, Israel and Morocco and male attitudes towards American women are remarkably similar.

Also – in response to the poster who remarks ¨(American men) simply cannot match an Argentine man in sensuality. After all, these guys grew up being kissed by their mothers, fathers, all the relatives and family friends a 100 times a day, so this is what they project on a woman they are with¨ - I´d like to respectfully disagree. If being barraged by kissing and smothering by your mother as a young boy is the criteria upon which to base a grown man´s sensuality, why aren´t Woody Allen, Larry David, or Howard Stern all starring in the next ¨Zorro?¨ After all, the infamous ¨Jewish mother¨ fits the above description to a T.

Oksana

Deby, you will have to interview me:-) Not only I met the most well-mannered, charming men with exquisite table manners, I doubt I would ever be tempted to have sex with an Amreican again (sorry guys!) The problem I have with Argentine men - and that is the dilemma, since I live here and plan to stick around - is that I do not have much intellectual connection with them, and I am missing the mind challenge, as cute and attentive they are to me, be it before or after sex. And the opposite, I know many charming, sensiive, eloquent American men, who even dance tango: they simply cannot match an Argetine man in sensuality. After all, these guys grew up being kissed by their mothers, fathers, all the relatives and family friends a 100 times a day, so this is what they project on a woman they are with. The true thing, though, it is difficult not to get into the trap of thinking it is the real thing, while in reality, it is simply beautiful and romantic sex, and trying to boost their ego even more (as if they don't have it oversized already) with making a woman feel special, princessa, la reina. Didn't Gavito say that that only makes a man el rey? (well, he certainly referred to tango, but I find it very similar outside of the dance). And they are sure all kings here, this is how their mothres raised them in the first place. So, don't blame it all on men.
My 2 cents.

Dubravko Kakarigi

Could it be that they are doing it that way because it works in most cases? Why would they otherwise do it if they do not get what they want? Just a thought ...

holly

Haven't had the naked man yet (and hopefully this will not happen to me), but there sure is a lot of wanking in public going on...flashers. What is with that? Can't they do that in private at home?!

silvia

Here's the thing: sure, it's funny, about how the guy expects what he expects, but it's a fact that the people in the milonga pass around STDs, HPV in particular. The argentine men don't like to use condoms and don't carry them, but they will use one if you have one and ask him. It is SO importent!

They also are crazy about anal sex, which is even more dangerous without a condom. Please take care.

pau

Your article is wired but funny! Why are all foreigners running into this "naked guy" thing? Being and argie glad to say never happened to me!
Anyways, just found your blog and loved it! Looking forward to new posts!!

caroline

You made me laugh! That whole naked man coming out of the bathroom scenario - oh god. I've actually been in that situation myself. How can they be so clueless? Whatever happened to courtship, art of seduction, wooing? I have heard though that many men view American women as easy - in fact, I've heard this in most of the countries I'd been to. When I asked them why - there are the two standard answers - because of American movies and secondly because most female american tourists are looking for an exciting fling with some exotic tall dark foreigner - they are not willing to wait the three months to allow a man to do more than a kiss. So of course the locals are going to presume American women are eager to get to the sex right away. It's unfortunate but it happens.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been saved. Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by the author. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear until the author has approved them.

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

My Photo
Have you ever dreamed about running away from home and starting a new life? I did just that. In 2004 I sold everything I owned to move to Buenos Aires. I first came to dance tango and I stayed because I fell in love with Argentina.

Amazon Recommends!

  • Picks from Amazon Just For You

Expat Blog

  • Find Me on ExPat Blogs
    Expat blogs in Argentina

Your email address:


Powered by FeedBlitz

Blog powered by Typepad

Amazon Books