Morí para este baile

Patricio and Adriana have moved their milonga to Gricel.  Tonight is the first night. Sandra and I have free entrances.  We decide to go.  Capo Lento (Who is now called Harry Potter) will meet Sandra there.  They always have their rendezvous on Wednesday nights. 

Patricio is happy to see us.  He has reserved a special table for us.  Adriana is used to us sitting at my table.  She is confused when Patricio tells her no, he has another table for us.  He leads us to the front row of tables facing the floor.  Sandra gasps.  "If Emilio comes I do not want him sitting next to me."   (Her ex)  Patricio is not sure what to say.  He tells he doesn't think he will come.  "Do not sit him next to me." She tells him again.

There are few people here.  There was not much publicity about the change of venue.  I hope a lot of people did not go to Palermo because they did not know the milonga moved here.  There are not many people here to dance with.  We watch a couple who were in the class before the milonga.  We cannot help but laugh.  They look like a tango cartoon.  You can tell they have spent hours trying to perfect steps only the most polished professional could do.  They do not realize that they should have spent hours on learning how to walk elegantly.

I look up.  I see my friends.  A couple of men I know who come here to dance.  I know from their steps my ex was their teacher.  I tell Sandra to look.  Then we are both horrified, because right behind them is Roberto and another friend.  Worse than that, Patricio smiles as he leads them to the table directly behind us.  I cannot believe this.  I feel like I am part of a bad movie. What is he doing?

Juan comes over to greet me.  " I brought Roberto." He says to me as he leans down to kiss me.  I want to say "No joke" or really bad joke.  I do not understand this.  What is going on here?  I want to vomit. I feel like I am in a remake of "Night of the Living Dead."  I tell Sandra.  She tells me to "Shut up."  (I must stop teaching her English) "You look beautiful. Just ignore him."  Then she laughs, "Poor Patricio, first I tell him not to put Emilio near us, and now you have Roberto." 

We watch him dance. "What the hell happened to his dancing?"  Sandra says.  "Everything is gone, his posture, his feet."  I am shocked too.  I know when he doesn't like who he is dancing with he doesn't try. But this is ridiculous.  I say to her "People told me he lost his dance."  Too many dances with women who cannot.

When the tanda ends he comes to the table to greet us.  He bends to kiss me and then Sandra.  I think I am still in a state of shock.  I get up to go to the bathroom.  It is time for lipstick.  I laugh to myself.  Sandra once asked me what I buy when I am depressed.  I tell her lipstick and nail polish.  Now I guess I put on the lipstick.

When I come out of the bathroom, Carlos motions for me to come sit down.  Roberto is not at the table. I hesitate.  Then I go.  He is all Mr. Friendly and smiles.  Completely the opposite of when we last met and he refused to greet me. "Que linda sos."  he says to me.  He asks me how I have been.  He is a regular chatty Cathy.  I want to leave.  I do not want to be seated here when Roberto returns.  He will not let go of my hand.  The bad movie continues.  Now I feel like I am in "Jaws".

Roberto sits down.  I do not look at him.  Carlos asks me what happened with Roberto.  As if he doesn't know.  No Academy Award for this performance.  "You were together," and then nothing.  I wonder if he wants a list..comehombre...the stupid Mormon girl from Utah who slept with a different guy every night and then set her sites on him, the other jealous ballerinas, and his miserable machista behavior to me when I could not dance.  I say nothing.

"Will you dance with him?"  he asks me.  What can I say?  I have longed to dance with him again.  To see if that magic we had was real.  Did we really have that connection?  Were we really that good together?  Was it all something I made up in my head?  Comparing every dancer to him.  Torturing myself.

Carlos turns to Roberto "You need to dance with her."  Roberto looks at me.  "Yes, yes, I'll dance with him."  This made it easier for him.  "But not this.  Not milonga.  He says I do not know how to dance milonga."  I say.  "Roberto laughs "Muy bien."  Then I add "But that's not true.  I do know how to dance milonga.  I dance with El Boracho on Fridays."  Carlos reaffirms "You will dance a tango or a vals with him?"  "Yes, a tango or a vals."  I agree.  Carlos turns to Roberto, "She will dance a tango or a vals with you."  I smile, "Only if I like the music."  Roberto laughs.

They play Troilo. Roberto looks at me.  Everyone pushes us to go dance.  I am nervous.  We walk onto the floor.  I face him.  I look into his eyes.  Better to close mine.  And then I am there. I am floating. All the passion, all the feeling. It was not a dream.  Roberto squeezes my hand. "Que lindo" he murmurs.  The song ends.  I feel a tear coming to my eye. 

We finish the tanda.  There is not much to say.  It would be awkward.   He guides me back to his table. Carlos starts again "How beautiful they  dance?"  he asks the table.  Everyone agrees.  Now every tanda they push us to dance.  We dance maybe 6 tandas. We dance by Patricio and Adriana.  Patricio calls out "Que linda pareja." 

I pass by Sandra.  She has been dancing with Harry Potter.  She has a big smile on her face.  "I want all the details tomorrow" she demands.  What details?  My life in a bad movie where I am the star?  She tells me how amazing the change in Roberto's dancing is with me.

They play a vals.  Roberto looks at me. I move to the the floor with him. We hardly talk.  I do not know what to say.  He asks about Roxie.  I tell him she has cancer.  He looks sad.  He tells me he is traveling. "When I come back," he says.  "I will call you. We should talk."

I cannot stop dancing with him.  He is like the pair of shoes that are so comfortable you cannot give them up.  My body responds to his steps.  He takes me through the ones he used to browbeat me over "Tu no puedes bailar" he would yell at me. "Necesitas muchas lecciones."  And now..with all the rehab I have had, my body responds the way it should.

I have waited almost 2 years for this moment, and now it is here. Morí para este baile.  (I died for this dance) Almost.

Comments

[James A. Burt]

Roberto and Troilo. You felt a tug on your heart.

[Kweku Sakyi-Addo]

hilarious - i cant stop laughing at your posts, what a wonderful parody of one of those expat tango dancers in buenos aires - i have actually met people like this and your descriptions are spot on, the main character is brilliant - as deluded as she is conceited and completely oblivious to it all at the same time. just curious how you got your material, are you an argentine?

god bless

[Jonathan (in Buenos Aires)]

Buenos Aires is definitely an interesting city. We like it here, and are glad to have found your post. What are your favorite tango spots? We're headed to Confiteria Ideal later tonight...

It's crazy here that the whole city is engulfed in a cloud of smoke. Visibility is all of about 100 yards or so, and it's not supposed to clear up until next Tuesday. I imagine it's the same from the 17th floor of your apartment?

Crazy stuff...

http://www.carrieandjonathan.com/buenos-aires-burning-smoke-everywhere.html

Anyway, what are your favorite tango spots?

[SANDRA]

OK SOY SANDRA SU AMIGA.YO FUI TESTIIGO DE ESA NOCHE DE MIERCOLES DONDE LAS LUCES VOLVIERON A ENCENDERSE PARA ELLOS DOS.
SE RESPIRABA EN EL AIRE.
EL FUE POR ELLA YO ESTOY SEGURA TENGO MUCHA INTUICION PARA ESO.SUS OJOS HABLABAN POR LO QUE SUS PALABRAS NO PODIAN DECIR,Y A ELLA SE LE ILUMINO LA CARA.FUE UN ENCUENTRO MUY LINDO QUE MI AMIGA ESPERO O MEJR DICHO SOÑO POR DOS AÑOS,Y ESE DIA LLEGO.
CONOZCO A ROBERTO DESDE ANTES DE QUE ELLA FUERA SU PAREJA,ES UNA BUENA PERSONA.
EL TENIA CARA DE FELIZ Y DE REENCUENTRO Y ELLA CREO QUE TODAVIA NO CAYO A LA TIERRA.
MERECEN UNA CHARLA, UNA PALABRA ENTRE LOS DOS,POR EL AMOR QUE HUBO Y HAY,AUNQUE SOLO SEA PARA RECOMPONER UNA AMISTAD Y NO UNA PAREJA.
NO VOY A OLVIDAR LA MIRADA DE DEBY CUANDO LO VIO LLEGAR,SUS NERVIOS,Y SU SONRISA DIBUJADA,EN ESA MIRADA SE VIO EL REFLEJO DE UN AMOR QUE ESTABA CASI OLVIDADO O GUARDADO EN UN PASADO.
ELLA FUE FELIZ,COMO UNA NENA CON JUGUETE NUEVO,EL TAMBIEN,Y YO FUI FELIZ DE SER TESTIGO DE SEMEJANTE ENCUENTRO.FUI FELIZ POR ELLA,SE QUE ES SENTIR ESO.
POR ESO LA ENTIENDO Y APOYO SUS NERVIOS.
ESA NOCHE DE MIERCOLES SAN VALENTIN ENTRO A GRICEL SIN QUE NADIE SE ENTERARA HE HIZO SU TRABAJO,SOLO ESPERO QUE LO HAYA HECHO BIEN.
AMIGA TE QUIERO Y SOY FELIZ POR TU FELICIDAD,OJALA TENGAS SUERTE.
VOS TE MERECES TENER AL AMOR NUEVAMENTE DE TU LADO.
BESOS

[Alex]

What a beautiful post Deby...