Now that things have calmed down a bit, I decided it is time to throw myself back into the dating game. One of my students uses Tinder and she told me I should try it. I did, a few years back. I think that I was the oldest person who was using it at the time, and no one wanted to meet me. She tells me that now that there is every kind of person on Tinder.
"OK, why not?" I think. My haircutter uses it. When I go to see him, he shows me all the women who want to go out with him. "Disasters." he tells me. He does it, because he gets new clients that way. Not a bad way to market yourself.
I download the app. Within seconds of loading my profile and pictures, I am receiving matches. Interesting. Much faster than the dating sites. You can swipe them away in seconds. There are lots of men. I still don't get the pictures of bare chests and man boobs, or pictures with a kid, or pictures of bridges or water or the forest with no people. Well I get it, but it is stupid.
My first Tinder date was great. The man was intellligent, nice looking, and interesting. The kind of guy I like to go out with. He never called after the date. I guess I was not his type. It happens. Rejections on both sides.
A few days again I was matched with a guy named "Roberto." I try to stay far away from men named Roberto. It is not a name that brings me luck. Worse, another Leo. Two strikes against him. I try to keep an open mind. We trade messages back and forth. Then we start to communicate by Whats App. He calls me a few times and we make a plan to meet.
He invites me to the Palacio Duhau. This is one of the most expensive places you could choose in Buenos Aires. " No, I don't think so.", I text him, "Maybe the second date." I don't like this kind of showy stuff before you even meet someone. I tell him that I am more low profile and would prefer a cafe or even Starbucks. (Shudder at the thought, but it is a good place to meet.) He tells me to choose. I mention a nice cafe near the Plaza San Martin. He has made a big deal about being at the Chancellery and requested that we meet near the plaza.
We are supposed to meet at 5:30 pm. On the day of the big event, when I am on the bus, he sends me a message at 5:15 that he changed our meeting place to Dandy across from the plaza. I don't like this. I know, from experience this is a control thing. One black mark to add.
I walk into Dandy. He is sitting there. A big guy. He gets up and makes a big show of meeting me. Something else I don't like. Then starts an almost 90 minute monologue of which I find almost impossible to escape. I sit like a child in school, learning about the world of "Roberto from Castelar."
Here is what I find so amazing, this guy brought documentation to back up his life story. He tells me that he has several businesses. His main one is to sell an alarm to keep drivers from falling asleep. He makes a big deal about how he is the "only one" in Latin America with the rights to sell this alarm. He tells me that he was talking to the Secretary of Transportation. He is shocked when I mention the name of Dietrich. He pulls out a letter to show me that they approve of what he is doing. I try to read it but he snatches it away. I noted that it was not signed by the office nor the Secretary of Transportation.
He proceeds to tell me that the government is going to buy all these units from him and install them in the government cars. He says that he has the chance to sell them to all the long distance bus companies and taxis. I smell a rat.
Continuing, he proceeds to tell me that his family owns tons of real estate, including hotels. He tells me that he loves heavy metal music. I tell him I don't. He is excited to go to the Metallica concert. Not my idea of a good time. I check this guy out while he blabs on about himself. I get one of my intuitive thrusts. This guy is a beater. I don't know why, but I have the sensation that apart from his non-stop talking and bragging, he is not a good guy. He has the potential to be abusive.
Now it is time to look at his Ipad. He pulls it out and makes a big show. Everything about this guy is carefully orchestrated. His problem is that I am 5 steps ahead of him. He has an Iphone. He makes sure I know that. Apple products are expensive here unless someone brings them to you or you travel. I am not impressed. I tell him I don't like Apple products that much. Shock crosses his face. "Hard to hack them." I tell him. Now he is bewildered. This was not in the plan. I explain to him that for fun I like to root tablets and cellphones. "You are a hacker?" he asks. "Naah, just having fun with my own stuff or friend's stuff."
He quickly changes the topic and moves on to where he went to school. On the Ipad, I get to see pictures of him growing up. His family, his friends, and his grade school report cards and diploma. Who does this?? You would have to spend time scanning fotos and uploading them, to do what? Show Tinder women? Very weird. Then he whips out an envelope to show me that he is who he is as it is addressed to a Roberto. The address is handwritten and before I can read all the information he takes it away..again.
In conversation I am finally able to get him to admit, that he has never been out of Argentina, that he could not get a visa to go to the USA. So much for all his stories. Talk about a big phony baloney, manicured nails and all. Most likely he is a grifter of some sort. I tell him I have to go. My dog needs me to take her out. Maxi is always the best excuse.
As we walk to the corner I tell him that I am going to take the bus. He tells me that he didn't drive his very expensive car to the city, that he took a combi. (I don't know anyone with means who takes public transportation or combis. They all tease me because I do.) I add to his black marks. He tells me that he is going to the Palacio Duhau for a meeting. Liar, liar, liar.
He insists on walking a different way to get to Cordoba. This makes me a little nervous. My overactive imagination kicks in. I make myself aware of my surroundings. We stop in front of a 3 star hotel. He tells me that his grandfather owns it. Blah Blah Blah and what do I think. "Nice," I tell him.
As we walk he tells me has his shirts custom made by the same tailor who makes Menem's shirts. We pass a nondescript and closed store. He tells me leaning in "Anyone who is anyone buys their clothes there." He mentions several actors, politicians. He almost insists that I go there. I tell him "Sorry, I am an Old Navy kind of a gal." I cannot wait to ditch this guy.
Finally we arrive at Córdoba. He knows exactly where the bus stop is. This is weird. Another black mark. He insists on standing in line with me and blabbing. Finally it is my turn to board. I almost run onto the bus. I survived.
I google his alarm for the hell of it. All the hits are ones where you can buy it on Mercadolibre for under 200 pesos. (about $12 USD) I am sure this guy was trying to set me up to clean out my bank account. He picked the wrong woman. Not all blonds are dumb.
Men named Roberto don't work for me. Tomorrow I am going to meet someone called Vicente. Mejor! (Better) I hope that I have better luck.