The men, The men..what about the men...

I am exhausted.  I have been dancing until 4:00 am every day for the last 2 weeks.  Then I have to get up at 9 to start my "other" life.  One of the women staying in my apartment says I never sleep or eat.  I tell her that is not true, she just doesn't ever see me do either of them.

I thought tonight I would stay in.  It is quiet and everyone is out.  Then Sergio who I met dancing during my 3 nights of fame called.  He asked me to meet him at Niño Bien.  We both agree we hate that place. He has a tour group of women from Denmark.  He says for me to come.  That way he can dance with me when he is tired of them.  If I go, it will be late.  Maybe around 1:00 am.

Roberto has a tour group here from Minnesota.  I met the guys last year.  They called me today to see if I would meet up with them.  Apparently I am more fun that Roberto and Maria.  Well, that goes without saying.  I know I am more fun.  How can they have fun with one guy who doesn't speak English and another with a stick up their butt?  (Oh did I say that?  Bad bad Deby)

I told them I would be at Niño Bien and they should come find me.  Or maybe I will find them.  Or maybe I just wont go.  I am in tango overload right now.  Time to do match.com dates.  Yup, match.com is here too.  They are probably on the moon.  Maybe I should look for men there...I sure cannot seem to find any here.  Well there are alot of them here, the problem is most of them annoy me.

After living in California for 31 years, I am not about to give up my independence and personality to be with some guy.  Argentine men like their women to be devoted and waiting by the phone.  They don't want them intelligent and independent.  Well, you can be independent when they want to watch football.  Intelligent?  Only when you call for pizza..

My Argentine women friends think I am crazy.  I tell them I love going on match.com dates here because I learn so much.  I have learned new restaurants, wine, and lots of other useful stuff.  I find that the men from Chile always bring me presents...perfume, wine, whatever.  The Argentine men well they are different.

It is funny, people here who have NEVER been to Mexico tell me that Mexican men are the most macho.  No! No! No! It is Argentine men without a doubt.  At least Mexican men indulge their women.  I am not sure what if Argentine men even get it.

Like being a gentleman.  The first time a man took me out here, we went to a restaurant.  I waited for him to come help me with my coat and the chair.  Imagine my surprise when he sat down.  That was my first clue.  This was no milonga tango guy.  This guy was a retired pilot for the airlines who now is a psychologist who works with Spanish speaking pilots.  He is highly educated and culturally aware.  He has a big home here and one on the coast of Spain.

The men here always pay.  I give them that much credit.  Well except for the milonga tango guys.  They hope the women will pay.  Some of them even expect it.  That is why I steer clear of them.   At this age, I am done being the South American Welcome Wagon....

I have had some memorable match.com dates.  Most of the men have been nice.  Then there are others who have been, well interesting.  I am amazed at how many people lie.  Since internet dating is new here, they figure it is OK.  I suppose.  Only in California we have been doing it for years. Not lying..using the internet to meet people. Well I suppose we lie too, but not in the same way.

Like the guy who was 5'6 and said he was 5´8.  So I wore my heels that make me 5'8. Only I was taller than him...and bigger.  He was a petite little thing. He said he was 155...in his dreams maybe.   Then there was the guy who sent me a picture of him with lots of hair and a nice body.  Then we met...he had no hair, a big stomach, and worse a deformed right hand.  He forgot to tell me.  I think the picture was about 20 years old that he sent.

Last week I met a guy who looked like he came from a Bram Stoker horror film.  All I could do was to stare at him.  He had photoshopped his picture:  What was he thinking?  I could not even talk.  I never met anyone who looked like a vampire.

They are not all that bad.  Sometimes I even have 2 or 3 dates with one guy.  Once a guy invited me to the movies.  He was shocked when I told him I didnt want to see the movies he selected.  He was even more shocked when I told him if he absolutely had to see those movies I would prefer not to go. The concept of mutual decision making was not one he was familar with.  My Argentine women friends told me that I should never do that..tell a man that I dont accept his choices.  I should have told him that I would LOVE to see those movies, but I already promised my niece I would go with her.Only one problem...I have no niece either here or anywhere, and Roxie doesn´t like to go to the movies.

Another man I met stopped calling me because I could not drop everything when he called to talk to me.   The concept of waiting by the phone was lost on me.  It really bugged him when I told him I could not talk and would call him back.  Oh well...

My friend Michael..my husband if he liked girls instead of boys thinks I have a bad attitude about Argentine men.  He doesn´t get it.  Even though he is a gay man, he is a higher life form than a woman.

A month ago my friend Lachlan was visiting from Seattle.  We were coming back from a milonga.  He was in front, and Liz, Jen and I were in the back of a taxi.  Lachlan already knew my opinion on the men here.  He asks Liz "So what do you think of the men here?"  This is not an easy question for her as she just met a nice guy.

"Well," she says "I think that some of them are nice. But most of them think that the world revolves around them."  Jen laughs "They suck" she tells him.  "Nah," I say, "That is the problem, they don't." That sends the three of us into fits of laughter.

Comments

[Terpsichoral]

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with the Argentine men. I've yet to have an Argentine boyfriend. And I'm beginning to wonder whether I ever could, frankly.

www.tangoaddiction.wordpress.com

[Giovanna]

This is hilarious and SO true. Being an American woman who lived with an Argentine man, well, he was 27, there were two sets of rules, both for him.....Including, but not limited to having other lovers, going out at midnight, and I'll talk to you when I need to. It's a totally different culture, which includes mistresses for them men, but women must work, cook, clean and take care of the kids. No other lovers for the lady of the house....oh nooooooo

[Fabiola]

Hi --

You are so funny I read this while at work, I think you should write a book on your adventures! I am traveling to Argentina soon and have dated Argentines before. I am latin and must say that they are one of the handsomest men! They have a beautiful accent also.

[learnedtoolate]

What is it with Argentine men and the phone? My ex had the same problem. He would call me at work and I'd be say, in a meeting with my boss. I'd tell him "I'll call you back after the meeting." He would say "I think you must tell you boss (his words) that your husband is calling and he must understand that I am more important than your job." My reaction was to say "whatever" and hang up. He would then call back and harangue my employees. It eventually was the straw that broke the camel's back. Another thing that annoyed me was he was the one who wanted to be American, he moved here, and told me it was his dream to be American for his whole life, but then he constantly complained that I didn't try to be more like a "good Argentine wife." Go figure.

[angelina]

I have fallen for a beautiful argentinian man with grey eyes, and I agree they do like to keep their ladies on their toes so to speak!

[Atim]

Hi Deby,

I just "met" you on the yahoo expat group, and I've been checking out your blog. This post is one of the funniest things I've read in recent history! Hilarious. I am married, so I fortunately I won't have any of these crazy romantic encounters to deal with when I come there in September. :)

[Claudio]

"Once a guy invited me to the movies. He was shocked when I told him I didnt want to see the movies he selected. He was even more shocked when I told him if he absolutely had to see those movies I would prefer not to go. The concept of mutual decision making was not one he was familar with. My Argentine women friends told me that I should never do that..tell a man that I dont accept his choices. I should have told him that I would LOVE to see those movies, but I already promised my niece I would go with her.Only one problem...I have no niece either here or anywhere, and Roxie doesn´t like to go to the movies."

WELL DONE, Deby... WELL DONE!!!!!!!

I'm local and even when I'm arab descendant, I'm absolutely agree with you (believe it or not)

About the "friendly lie": "... I should have told him that I would LOVE to see those movies, but I already promised my niece I would go with her."

Yes, of course... How many nieces would you need next time?

You were awesome!!!!
With all due respect... I'm laughing to die while I'm reading your anécdota!!!
You are really brave!!!! go on!!!

I'm not agree with Adriana about americans men are the ice made human. There are many points of view about... Viggo Mortensen has showed to be a warm person beyond his nordic heritage...

[alejandro]

mmmmmmm
raro che, muchos hombres que conozco y yo mismo minimo le diriamos bestia a alguien que se porta asi. que la mujer pague? a eso lo llamamos rata.
supongo que ya entenderas que significa llamar a alguien rata por estos lares.
salutes!!!

[barb]

Hi Deby,
Your viewpoints on the men in BA are very interesting. I plan to go to BA for about 3 months to work on my Spanish (I know very little) and see a different way of life. I am from Canada and am in my 40's. I will be there as a single woman and plan to rent a small budget flat. Any ideas on where to look and what to do while there? Did you speak Spanish fluently before you moved? I would also like to know where you meet the men that you meet on match.com. I know you wouldn't have them come up to your apartment. Thanks for the interesting lowdown on the men.

[Adriana]

Hahaha.. yes men here are like that but come on... americans men are the ice made human. The art of aproaching, chatting and fliting is unique in Argentina

[Holly]

Deby this does not sound promising:(