Living In Argentina: Why Are You Here
Musings: Time Marches On

Hanging in the USA: My Big Mouth

I once had a boyfriend who told me that one day my big mouth was going to get me in trouble.  Well, that was more than 20 years ago, and I am still here.  I stand up for myself, and sometimes I defend others who can't or won't.  

Americans as a rule, do not like confrontation.  They prefer to intellectualize or rationalize or ignore. When I had my own business, I learned that I had to stand up for myself, or clients (especially male clients) would try to walk all over me.  Argentines, on the other hand make confrontation a national sport along with complaining. I learned real fast the only way to deal with a rock head was to have a harder head.

I have been traveling for over a month.  Spain, Portugal, Morocco, and now the USA.  Yesterday I went to Walmart.  I love the self checkouts, almost no one uses them, so there is never a line, even when there is you don't have to wait long.  There was a family ahead of me and two ladies behind me.  One woman was Latina, the other was black.

When the family moved to go to a register, out of nowhere came Father Time from Hell.  He cut in front of me as though there was no line. "Hey!" I said to him, "There's a line."  This guy with his frizzy long white hair and unkempt beard with a huge potbelly turns to me,"You're not in line, I am first."  He says it with a violent smirking twist that is supposed to have little blondie me, shaking. Not me. 

I turn to see the reaction of the ladies behind me.  They smile at me, they know we were here first, but they are afraid of the potbelly pig.  "Do you feel like a man?"  I ask him.  "Does it make you feel good to cut in front of 3 women?"  He is clearly shocked.  He never expected anyone to call his shit.  Especially women.

He tries again, "You don't know what you are talking about.  There was no one here.  I was first."  I suppose I should just leave it alone, but the truth is..I can't.  I can't stand these kind of people.  So I do what I do best.  I humiliate him with humor.

"Oh,wait,"  I say.  "You should be first.  Sorry."  He gets that macho idiot smirk on his face that he won.  "You are obviously pregnant. Since you are pregnant you should be first."  I turn back to see the response.  People are snickering.  Father Time from Hell is horrified.  Not only did blondie not back down she humiliated him. and worse people are laughing at him.

He sputters "You have blue in your hair, your brains are spilling out." I laugh at him. "Blue hair is a sign of great intelligence."  The people behind were laughing.  Game over. 


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